


Doomsd8y Devvice

by artsyAquarius



Series: One-Shot Requests [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 05:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyAquarius/pseuds/artsyAquarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vriska and Eridan have a hate-date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doomsd8y Devvice

**Author's Note:**

> A quick thing to follow my theory that kismessitude can be cute!   
> (I keep ending up with Eridan......)

“Please tell me this one’s gonna be considerably less shitty than the last one, Vris.”   
You let out an obnoxious chortle. “It was only shitty because you broke it, dumbass!” you laugh madly, pulling your blue lips past your long fangs.   
Eridan’s giving you the miffed look that means he’s thinking of a good reply, but it hasn’t quite reached him yet. You’ll just have to work to get it out of him.   
Spidermom’s pacified for now, so you don’t have to worry about her eating you kismessis. You lead Eridan up the stairs to your block, walking faster than him. It quickly turns into a race, the both of you trying to be the first one there. You get through the door seconds before Eridan, and you cackle to see him huffing behind you.   
“Do you have your inhaler with you, Eridork?” you say sweetly, scruffing up his streaked hair.   
He glares at you behind his ridiculously thick glasses. “It’s just. My fuckin’ scarf. Too tight. Blockin’ up my gills. ” he pants, and you can see purple spreading around his fins. You’re fairly certain it’s not just from the running.   
“Not tight enough. You can still talk.” You quip, and yank the blue scarf hard. He hunches over and starts coughing, and you run up to your work desk, laughing.   
“Gonna get you for that, Vris.”   
You cackle. “I’d like to see you try!” you actually really would like that. He just talks and moans at you, and it’s starting to get on your nerves. Oh, wait. That’s the point.   
“So…how’s your plan to ‘destroy all the land dweller’?” you make air quotes with your fingers. Personally, you thought it was a stupid idea, but hey; who were you to turn down a chance to start the apocalypse?   
“It’d be goin’ fine, except for the fact that none a your things ever work.”   
Ooh, burn! Not. “And I keep telling you; not my fault. You’re just too stupid to figure how to use them properly!” you stick out your tongue, and Eridan glowers at you. “I’ve still got a safe pass for all that, haven’t I? You don’t really want to kill me, despite all your mildly offensive threats, right?”   
He shrugs. “A course. I need at least one land dweller alive so I can learn some a their skills and shit.”   
You roll your eyes. “Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special, Ampora.”   
He raises an eyebrow and smirks. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m plannin’ on keepin’ Kan alive, too.”  
Hmm. Interesting. You smile thoughtfully, tilting your head. “That’s….surprisingly considerate of you, Eridan. You know, McFussy Fangs and I are quite close. Wait…don’t tell me you’re pale for her?! You know she’s my moirail, right? Haha, you already have Feferi, but you’re still waxing pale for another girl? That’s pretty pathetic, even for you!” you can see you’ve angered him, which was exactly your plan.   
“It’s not pale, stupid! Cod, you think you just know every fuckin’ thing, don’t you?”   
You grin wildly. “Hah! So, it’s red, is it?! This is just delicious! I’m so telling her this!” How you loved tormenting him. He just made it too easy for you!  
“It’s not red, either.” He crosses his arms, looking down. “It’s ashen.”   
Your eyes go wide. That was…unexpected? Well, not exactly. Auspistism was Kanaya’s specialty. But…this involved you, too, unless Eridan had another black crush. And wait…since when did the two of you need mediating?! “Ashen, huh? Well, you sure picked the right person. I’m not sure how that would affect me, though, being her moirail.” You give him a sharp look, hoping to let him know you wanted no part of this.   
He shifts his weight. “Whatever, Vris. She doesn’t need to know. Can we just get on with this fucking thing already?”   
You snort. Eridan didn’t exactly make the biggest efforts to hide his crushes on people. But you weren’t going to tell Kanaya; you’d let her figure it out on her own. For now, you’d entertain yourself by making a shitty, already broken doomsday device to piss of your kismessis.


End file.
